One thing I have come to realize in the past few weeks is if I need someone to help me keep me on my toes, than I need to ask a close peer. A peer that is at the same level as me professionally and I am truly comfortable being honest with. There are many emerging leaders that have focused on gaining strong, older, more experienced mentors, but there is always a time when you need one of your peers to call you out, because they may be able to understand your problem more directly.

You see, everyone who is close to me knows I am terrified of public speaking. Well, who isn’t, right? (If you aren’t let me know I want to know your tricks!) Just recently, I had to speak at the launching of the Young Nonprofit Professionals Network here in Grand Rapids. I was feeling pretty good about it in the weeks prior to the event, but on the day of the event became more and more nervous. I tried some new tricks, asking everyone I saw what they would do, and still to no avail, I was terrified when I got up there in front of everyone. I wanted to talk about so much more during my time on the platform, but do to my shakes I had to make it quick.

I learned more than a few things from the experience, all through talking to my peers afterwards:

First – I don’t sound or look as scared as I thought. To hear this was comforting, but I’m still nervous.

Second – It is alright if during my speech/talk I take a second to say, “ohh let’s see what else I have to say”. One of my peers said, “It makes you seem real.” So, what I thought was an error in my speech was really a moment for me to connect more with the audience.

And Third – It is alright to ask for help. Prior to the event, no one had suggested they could speak, so I kind of got stuck with it, and I took it on willingly hoping to use it as a learning experience. During the debrief time yesterday, someone said, I wish we were able to tell them more during the presentation. I thought “Ohh really, me too!”, but refrained from blurting it out. After all that nervousness I could have called my board up one-by-one to talk about their objectives, all I needed to do was ask. “Just ask”, what a crazy concept! I feel like I hear the phrase a lot but for some reason it just never clicked until now.

So, the moral of the story is…ask your peers for help. Your peers won’t let you down when it comes to giving constructive feedback and most of the time they may be having the same feelings you are.

Do you have a story to share about how a peer kept you inline?

-Tera Wozniak – Millennial